A Broken Ankle Summer
It is July, the ripe full heat of summer and I have broken my ankle and been laid up in bed for the past six weeks, signed off work for another four. It has been both a negative and unexpectedly positive experience. Breaking your ankle is painful, obviously, and not to be recommended; I was out on a walk on my own when I did it, merely slipping over on a patch of wet grass, so it has definitely instilled a new sense of my own fragility and vulnerability. I am frustratingly incapable of taking care of myself and trapped inside unable to indulge in my usual summertime pursuits of rambling about on the moors and swimming in the rivers, and being off work has left me pretty broke. Overall I’ve been forced to confront the truth that I’m not as independent as I think I am and that living in an off-grid tiny house at the bottom of a field can actually be incredibly impractical, especially now that I am on my own. Before I would have had Tom.
That said, unexpectedly finding myself with six weeks off work has been a weird sort of blessing. I don’t think I realised how stressed I was and six weeks stretching ahead of nothing but rest and strapped up moon boot ankle felt like a full, deep breath of fresh air when I didn’t know I was drowning. I’ve been given an unexpected opportunity to relax, slow down, reconnect to myself and in a low key way reaffirm what I want from my life, which is something that most people don’t get to do very often. I’ve been trying to make the most of it.
Firstly I have used being stuck in bed as an excuse to indulge in all of the things that I do purely for enjoyment: putting a good film or series on Netflix, making origami cranes, doing puzzles, reading magazines and opening a crisp new packet of pencil crayons to fill one of those adult “zen colouring” books with colour. I’ve been re-watching all of my favourite comforting classic movies, working my way through Wes Anderson’s film collection, then studio Ghibli, watching the new series of Good Omens (love Neil Gaiman), some old-school Star Trek and rediscovering A Discovery of Witches. There is something soothingly reminiscent of childhood about it, like you’re off school sick and tucked up in bed and your Mum has brought you a stack of things to keep you entertained. There is nothing like doing things which deliberately take up time to make you feel like time is an expansive luxury, an antidote to our usual time-starved lives, something which many of us seemed to discover during the coronavirus lockdowns but have now forgotten again.
I’ve been reading my way through my stacked-up backlog of books too obviously; The Gallows Pole by Benjamin Myers (required reading for residents of the Calder valley although ironic since it was in Cragg Vale where I fell and broke my ankle), The Absolute Book by Elizabeth Knox, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer (a life-changing book which I will have lots to say about once I have got it all figured out in my head) and gripping thriller The Skeleton Key by Erin Kelly (not my usual thing but I’m hooked). I’ve also been using the time to fully immerse myself in creativity; making messy mixed media art and working in my art journals has gone from an experiment to a compulsion (you can follow @charlotte.reble.arts on Instagram if you are interested) and writing is pouring out of me too, as I noodle over blog posts and articles. I may have even started working on a book. A little bit of space is all creativity needs to blossom, a salve for boredom; a pause in the endless bombardment of input is all that is required to let something out. It has been the perfect time to pick up The Artist’s way again too and my weekly writing group in the little upstairs room of a quirky local bar has been one of the few places I have managed to get to while I’ve been off, a lifeline to the outside world.
I have managed some little trips out though - a couple of drinks with sympathetic friends (at bars where a taxi could drop me outside) and a trip to the cinema (Wes Anderson’s new film Asteroid City was a compulsory continuation). I even made it to a Lumineers gig at the Halifax Piece Hall which I optimistically bought tickets for a year ago (although I found it quite stressful). My biggest escapade was to Manchester for the day (with the help of both of my parents, a wheelchair and many kind people along the way!) to attend Journalfest (/Stationeryfest/Plannerfest) – an amazing new full day event jam packed with talks and goodies that the obsessive journaller in me could not miss. Much inspiration was found, I met loads of amazing like-minded people and it was a massive boost to my growing art journaling practise. If you are also a journal/planner stationery addict the organisers have already put dates in for next year and it sounds like it is going to be even more epic, more info at https://journalfest.co.uk.
One unexpected side effect of breaking my ankle has been that I have become more aware of and connected to my body. As someone who normally lives almost exclusively in my head engrossed in a tangle of thoughts, ideas and neurotic anxieties my relationship with my physical body usually goes completely by the wayside. Having to slow down, be constantly, consciously aware of where my foot is and how it feels has been an education. In the midst of confusing and often conflicting medical advice it is reassuring to find that if I just listen then my body knows exactly how to heal itself and will tell me. Staying in bed all day has made me feel restless too and I determined to use this time to get fitter and feel better, even if just in small ways; starting with rolling my mat out in the long grass behind the cabin and trying to follow daily “broken ankle yoga” youtube videos I have now progressed to going for small daily walks (hobbles) up the lane and I have core muscles for I think the first time in my life. I have been trying to cut down on alcohol too, eat more healthily etc… broken ankle aside I feel better than I have in years.
Overall I think I have made quite a good job of trying to make the best of a bad situation. I have taken the time to chill and reconnect to how I want to be living, read and study, see friends, get jobs done, improve my physical health, develop creative projects. I’ve tried not to spend money, spent time connecting to nature, and even been on some mini adventures. I’m beginning to understand the value of accepting and adapting to whatever situation life presents at any given moment and now, as I come to the end of my time off and hopefully get given the okay to go back to work next week I am about ready to accept and adapt to something new. A break from my usual routine has been nice but if there is one thing that these weeks stuck at home - my own personal mini-lockdown - have inspired, it is to get out and explore the world more, have more adventures, whether getting out for long hikes with friends, a night away somewhere new, or even just exploring the place I live in new ways. The possibilities are endless. Watch this space.